What Makes A Good Marriage
Stats
Three in ten marriages remain healthy and happy. Not too
surprising considering 50% of the marriages
surprising considering 50% of the marriages
end in divorce, and many couples stay married, but not happily.
A survey of 22,000 married couples in all 50 states identified the
top ten strengths of happy marriages:
top ten strengths of happy marriages:
Communications & conflict resolution
- Partners are satisfied with communication. (1)
- Partners discuss their problems well. (5)
- Partners handle their differences creatively. (2)
Closeness and affection
- They feel very close to each other. (3)
- They are satisfied with the affection they show and receive in the marriage. (6)
- There is a good balance of time alone and together. (7)
Similar values
- Partners agree on how to spend money. (9)
- Partners agree on spiritual beliefs. (10)
Balance of Control
- Spouses are not controlling. (4)
- Family and friends rarely interfere. (8)
(Poll by David H. Olson, founder of Life Innovations and
co-creator of the Prepare/Enrich marriage enrichment tool)
co-creator of the Prepare/Enrich marriage enrichment tool)
Causes
Most couples at the start of the marriage are happy and in love.
Then the realities of life intrude,
Then the realities of life intrude,
with work, financial, household chores, inlaws, or other daily issues,
and having kids can especially
and having kids can especially
turn a marriage upside down. How then to keep your marriage
healthy and happy and a source of joy
healthy and happy and a source of joy
for many years to come?
Examples
1) [my counselor] asked me "what does a good marriage
look like to you?" It may sound strange but my answer was
"I don't know, I've never seen one."
look like to you?" It may sound strange but my answer was
"I don't know, I've never seen one."
2) Married 32+ years, mostly very good, a few not so good.
[to me it's] trust, integrity and faithfulness. A few of my own:
[to me it's] trust, integrity and faithfulness. A few of my own:
- be best friends.
- be grateful for every thing you have together and every
day you are together.
day you are together.
- make the effort every day.
- enjoy each other, every day.
... Really try to understand her and listen to her. And let her
know she is valued and appreciated....
know she is valued and appreciated....
3) If "Etta" asked me, right at this moment, "If we weren't
already married, would you marry me?", my answer would be
an instantaneous "In a heartbeat
already married, would you marry me?", my answer would be
an instantaneous "In a heartbeat
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